


My hee-hee

by areasell



Category: Michael Jackson (Musician), Nazz - Fandom, Todd Rundgren (Musician)
Genre: 1960s Music, Anal Sex, Crack, M/M, Marijuana, Naked Cowboys, Paint Kink, Penetration, Twinks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28498086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areasell/pseuds/areasell
Summary: Michael Jackson winds up in 1960s Pennsylvania after setting his head on fire, only to find a band called Nazz. He's simping hard for Stewkey but i'm not sure Stewkey's boyfriend Thom would agree.
Relationships: Carson Van Osten/Paint, Stewkey/Michael Jackson, Todd Rundgren/Kizuna AI
Kudos: 1





	1. The Michael Jackson flames fiasco

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [booty lettuce](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25123198) by [cheap_whores_for_jesus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheap_whores_for_jesus/pseuds/cheap_whores_for_jesus). 



> This is a two character person work. Sadly, the second writer does not have Ao3. I pray to god Otis never sees this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael Jackson winds up in 1960s Pennsylvania after getting his head set ablaze.

The years were 1968 and 1984. Michael was doing a pretty cool commercial thing and Stewkey was smoking a joint or sumn I don’t fuckin know. While Michael is doing his epic gangster commercial and doing some epic poses, the mousse in his hair said “Aight I think i’m boutta head out” and catches on fire. Michael being really fucking scared because his head is on fire leaps backwards, literally does 70 kickflips in 3 milliseconds, does a whole ballet routine and gymnastic routine backstage, and little does he know there is a pretty cool time machine back dere. Michael frantic as hell and not wanting everyone to see him in pain, leaps into that time machine doing the macarena, pushes every button he sees, and bam he’s off.

Michael, unaware of what just happened, noticed that pushing buttons in this machine won’t solve his hair being on fire. He leaps out and falls on the floor screaming.


	2. Michael meets some small dick music dudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael Jackson meets some really stupid people and they invite him over.
> 
> Creds to my homeboy for writing out most of this chapter

This really tall white dude caught Michael out of the corner of his eye. “Hey buddy, this dude’s scalp is on fire!”

“Woah Carson!” This really ugly skinny dude came out from behind him. “Get a bucket of water or something!”

The tall white dude (apparently his name is Carson but you can’t believe nobody) ran off to go get a bucket.

Michael’s hair is turning into a burnt crisp. Who knew hair could be so flammable. Anyways so Michael is screaming in pain waiting for the white boy bucket. So Carson is a dumbass and he thought he could stop the fire with milk. Carson let out the fire but now Michael covered in milk.

“Sir I am so sorry, I’ll do anything to fix this tender situation.” said Carson

“It’s ok but I’m lactose intolerant you bitch. At least the fire is out though but still imma get mad poopy.” Michael said

“That’s something an old friend used to say…haha…” Carson said

“MAd poopy? That’s funny this guy seems like a great fella” Michael said

“Well he’s kinda weird but you’re weird too not in a good way maybe you’ll bond over what kind of crack you smoke idk” Carson said

“ I feel like we should introduce ourselves” Carson said, covering his nose cause that milk is starting to stink real bad. “I’m Carson and this is Todd.” 

Todd did not respond. Instead he decided to go cross eyed.

“I’m Michael HEE HEE- Jackson. My name is Michael Jackson. You’ve probably heard of me i’m pretty famous.”

“Uhhhh nope” Carson said

“I’m sure you could find me on a government list of some sort. Anyways” Michael finished

Todd interrupted “Hey you seem cool, do you wanna meet the rest of the band?”

Michael said “Oh sure but I lost all my hair and im depressed also i smell like sour cream so this sucks”

Carson said “Don’t worry Stewkey likes mexican food, you’ll be fine”

“Oh yeah and Thom is depressed too, that’s some nice bonding material. Dont make a suicide pact tho thats for later in life” Todd said


	3. Carson attempts to poison Michael Jackson yep he does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael Jackson doesn't actually get poisoned i'm sorry

Carson, Todd, and Michael entered this really narrow house. They walked up these really shitty creaky stairs with Todd leading. Todd was always the best at sniffing stuff out and Stewkey always smelled the most. Todd finally tracked down Stewkey’s drug scent but when he went to open the door it was locked. Carson went in front of Todd and started banging on the door. “ **OPEN UP YOU FUCKING JUNKIE** ” Carson yelled. “He doesn’t mean that!! We love you Stew!” Todd also yelled.

Stewkey opened the door almost knocking it down with his force. “Ayyyyyy fellas I didn’t know you would be back this soon uhhh…”

Thom came out of the room, looking like he frantically dressed 2 seconds ago. “Hey Todd, Carson, i’m cigarette gang for life but you gotta try this boof the Stew gave me! It’s got me acting unwise”

“No thanks…” Carson said. “I’d rather stick to the paint chemicals…”

“Hey guys!” Todd shouted, forgetting they’re done yelling at Stewkey to come out, “This is Michael! We found him on the road on fire!!!!! Isn’t that fucking sick!!!!”

“Todd, calm down.” Carson interrupted. “Heyyyyy Michael i’m Stewkey. You smell like mexican food.” Stewkey tried to aim for Michael’s hand attempting to give him a handshake, but his boof was too strong and he fell backwards into Thom’s left shoulder.

“I told you that kush was good.” Thom said. “You sure you guys don’t want any? Cures all your problemsssszzzzz” Thom said.

“Maybe we should wait for them to get back to their senses” Carson said. “Do you like coffee? Do you want some? Maybe some apple juice?”

“I’ll take some apple juice” Michael replied. “And maybe a bath I smell like sour cream and hot.”


	4. Michael Jackson gets sleep deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael Jackson is having a hard time in the house...

Carson prepared some apple juice for Michael and invited him to sit down in the living room, which consisted of 3 foldable chairs and a foldable table. Thom and Stewkey were making a ruckus upstairs, banging into stuff and yelling. Todd could also be heard crying in the bathroom.

Michael and Carson had a long talk about how Michael got set on fire n stuff. He explained that the year is not 1984 and that it is 1968. They are in Pennsylvania and they have to do a concert next day. 

“Man that’s kinda cool but when the fuck did I ask” Michael said. “I have my own concerts to go to. I’ll blow up the music genre this era with my bangers.” 

“What the fuck man no. You cant be changing history on us. Let us do our thing.” Carson said. “ **AY YOU AIN’T HEARD MY BEATS DOE** ” Michael leaped up onto the foldable table and started doing an assortment of “Hee-hee”’s and “ **OOH!** ”’s. Carson was not impressed. “Who the fuck listens to that shit man?” 

“All the girls that bounce on ur dick man.” Michael responded.

“ **HEY LISTEN HERE MAN. I GET ALL THE HOT FUCKING MIL-** ”

Stewkey threw his door open, drawling down the stairs into the living room.

“Hey maaan, I heard your singing and it’s a vibe! Ooh aah hee hee”

“Hey Stew! Get the fuck back in heeirgihoerghuer0irtgifjqrgbtuifrgtref-gthrjei0fw-rgth0frew-ogrtihbrefvw-feoithrb” Thom yelled out

“Ah shit that’s my call. Seeya later weird dude! Ooh ah **WOO** heehee! I’m comin Thom!”

“Walk fa-aifgrijrfijosfoijpofisdvijfedubvscdfhuv”

“Well, let’s just forget what we were talking about. I’ll take that glass for you.” Carson took Michael’s glass and went to go wash it. “Go do whatever. I don’t care.”

Michael went upstairs to the bathroom and opened the door, only to witness a crying Todd.

“I thought I locked that door! I can’t even lock doors right waaaaaaaa” 

Todd ran out of the bathroom into the backyard. Michael not really caring about any of that weak bs took a nice cold shower. Not being used to water touching his scalp he did a lot of weird noises ok. After Michael was done with his shower he walked out of the bathroom only to discover everyone went to bed. He didn’t really know where to sleep. He opened all of the doors he saw, the first being Carson’s

There he saw Carson in elephant pyjamas spooning a white bucket of paint. Michael really confused closed the door and went into the next room. This was Thom’s room. When he opened the door he saw a really messy room and a ton of shirtless cowboy posters. Holy shit are there a ton of shirtless cowboy posters. It was better than nothing and nobody was there so he decided to sleep in there for the night.


	5. Thom gets the spicies for ram ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is tryna sleep but a very active Thom barges in and screams bloody murder

It was very early in the morning. The sun hadn’t risen yet. The whole house was still asleep….except for Thom and Michael. Michael was having trouble sleeping due to not being used to sleeping in jeans, and Thom was awake cause he needed to get out of Stewkey’s room before any of the housemates suspected anything. Michael was thinking about if he’d ever get home, if his girlfriends or siblings missed him, when all of a sudden he heard

**“EIGHTEEN NAKED COWBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RAAAAM RAAANCH”**

Oh shit! It was Thom! Michael knew it was Thom because of all of the naked cowboy photos all over his room. Michael looked around for a place to hide, but there were none. He couldn’t hide in all of the damn cowboy pics. Suddenly he heard

**“COWBOY’S IN THE SHOWERS AT RAN RANCH WANTING TO- HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM”**

“Hey, dude…” Michael said. “I was tireddd. I needed sleeeeppp there was nowhere elseee.”

**“BOI GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ROOM”**

Michael proceeded to exit the room. “Where am I goona sleep now?” He asked.

“I don’t fucking know. Go sleep with Todd outside or somethin. He’s always complaining about being lonely or sumn.”

Michael had almost no other choice but to sleep outside with Todd, or, atleast try. He wasn’t goona to ask if he could sleep with Stewkey. He’s not fucking gay. Michael hustled outside and holy shit was it cold. He found Todd lying on the ground sleeping.

Michael sat next to him and tried to get a good nights rest. 30 minutes later, however, he heard a faint whisper from Todd. He said

“Hey man,,,,how loud that bussy bop”

Michael really fucking weirded out by Todd asking that tried to hustle back inside as soon as he could. “I gotta ask Stewkey.” He said. “I gotta ask him. Carson will cuss me out if I try to sleep in his room. I gotta ask.” 


	6. Michael Jackson gets sleep deprivation part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael got that yummy yummy that yummy yummy

Michael spent a couple of minutes rehearsing how he would ask and how it wouldn’t sound gay as hell and went up to Stewkey’s room. 

Michael slowly opened the door. “Hey man….” Stewkey was sound asleep.

“Shit...I don’t wanna wake him up...but I gotta.”

Michael slowly and peacefully shook Stewkey awake. “Hey man...i’m sorry I gotta wake you up right now but i’ve got no place to sleep.”

"Oh hey weird dude." Stewkey said. "I don't mind you sleeping on the floor or something, just don't sleep in my bed that's pretty fucking gay. There's some clothes on the floor if you wanna make something out of that Todd does laundry tomorrow." 

Michael made a pretty shit pillow out of Stewkey's clothes. Seriously is this even a pillow? He made put for the night and nothing really bothered him except for Stewky's constant snoring but eh he could get used to it.

Early the next morning, Todd decided to make a dirt throne for his holy waifu body pillow Kizuna AI. "Ohhhh Kizuna. You're the only one who understands my pain and suffering in this modern society. I love you more than that bitch Patricia who shattered my heart fuck you Patricia I have PTSD now. Kizuna Kizuna eee hee hee hee." Todd proceeded to get some chocolate pudding and a spoon out of the kitchen inside and shuffled out. He proceeded to feed his body pillow a whole container of chocolate pudding. There was pudding everywhere dude. Todd's goona get the shit beat outta him you know how Carson is with being always neat and tidy. Todd didn't really give a fuck anymore tho he's with his waifu now. "Let's go in the barn Kizuna teehee!" Todd proceeded to bring his body pillow into the barn, which was full of paint cans cause Carson was into that shit.

"Hey duude good morning. You want a boof?" Stewkey asked Michael. Michael declined but was flattered nonetheless. They both exited the room and fixed some epic super mario cereal!!!!

"Yo Michael this is my SHIT!" Stewkey said

"hey fellas." Carson interrupted. "Could ya quiet down? I'm tryna read my weekly oil paint magazine. Thom is still upstairs sleeping." They both agreed to keep quiet and eat their fucking epic super mario cereal dude! It's fucking super! Absolutely bonkers man it's great.

After they were done with their cereal they walked outside to the side of the house. It was like a real tiny alleyway Nazz was piss broke dude. "Hey dude do you smoke? I got a pack you can take a cig out of idgaf." Michael took a cig and they both smoked for a bit and cracked jokes and had some epic story development times. They went back inside and played some cards idk this was 1968.

Carson went outside to check on his paint barn. It was customary that he checked his beloved paint barn every 6 hours and this was the 6th hour. "Mhm can't wait to check on my beloved paint barn! There could totally be nobody fucking a body pillow in my paint barn!" Carson opened the door to the paint barn and there was Todd fucking the shit out of his Kizuna AI body pillow. Literally going raw in his Kizuna AI body pillow he cut a small hole out of it for his dick bruh he's crazy. **"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY PAINT BARNNNNN"** Carson shrieked. **"YOU KNOW THE PAINT BARN IS OFF LIMITS!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKING YOUR STUPID PILLOW IN MY PAINT BARN. MY LITTLE PAINTS ARE FUCKING SCARRED NOW! FUCK YOU MAN!"** Carson literally fucking picked up Todd with one finger and threw him through the roof. He probably died of the impact I don't fucking care I wasn't paying attention and neither was Carson. He sulked and caressed his buckets of paint and said a lot of hail Mary's. Todd's bones were literally shattered he could not get up. His body pillow was not aware of the crazy paint fetish dude that lived here and moved to graceland, never seeing Todd again. "Hey whatever. Everyone leaves me i'm used to this shit." Todd spent many hours on the dirt floor trying to relocate his tons of broken bones. 

Meanwhile in the house Stewkey was absolutely getting obliterated by cards with Michael Jackson. Not like he played anyways he was always too busy making a hella good boof every day.

"Damn Shawty you win again. I dunno how but you did you're pretty good at this."

"Thanks Stew I always played this with my sisters a lot-"

Carson barged into the room.

**"YO YO YO DID YOU SEEEE THIS LITTLE SHIT FUCKING HIS STUPID ASS PILLOW IN MY PAINT BARN BRUH."**


	7. FACE OFF!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael understands his feels for Stewkey and does a little dance

Stewkey and Michael were very rudely interrupted by Carson.

"Todd? And that Japanese girl thing?" Stewkey asked. "I wouldn't doubt it honestly."

"Is that the thing Todd was cuddling when I was trying to sleep outside?" Michael asked.

 **"WHAAAAT?"** Carson and Stewkey said in unison

"YOU SLEPT OUTSIDE?" Stewkey asked

"TODD WAS SLEEPING WITH A FUCKING ANIME BODY PILLOW?" Carson asked. "I OUGHTA THROW HIM THROUGH THE ROOF THE SECOND TIME!"

"Dude, Michael, I don't know how long you slept outside, but you should have came to me before you decided to do that. Todd sleeps outside because he's been bad. You haven't been bad dude. You can always sleep on my bedroom floor. I accept anyone." This was the first time Stewkey said Michael's name. Michael was again very flattered by this gay shit but he knew he had to hide it because being gay is a fucking sin and he thought Stewkey was straight as fuck. "Ok, Stew..."

"You can call me Robert if you want. Bob's fine too."

"I- uh- o-ok..." Michael was now extremely overwhelmed with feelings. Could this be love? No. This is being a gay ass motherfucker. That's illegal. "I-I gotta go to the bathroom brb guys"

"Take your time" Stewkey and Carson said.

Michael rushed into the bathroom. he could hear the git up by Blanco Brown from two doors down.

"Shit shit shit! I can't be fucking gay dude that's illegal man. I'll get put on the news for breaking the law AGAIN. The fuck am I goona do?"

While Michael was contemplating his secret love for Stewkey, Thom came down from his room with his portable record player, blasting the git up by Blanco Brown in the room.

"Loud Thom, loud!!!!" Carson yelled.

"Hey Stewkey, do you wanna do the two step and cowboy boogie with me man?"

"Uhhhhhhhh sure." Stewkey replied "Just don't make it too stupid."

Thom and Stewkey did a stupid little dance in the living room while Carson yelled and cried. "This is my house!!!! We will get noise complaints guys please please please!!!!!" After begging for them to stop for a while, Carson grew hopeless, ran into his room and cried while hugging a bucket of paint. "They're too loud man." Carson told the bucket. "I wish I knew how to make them shut the fuck up."

Michael was done contemplating in the bathroom and came back out. "Hey stew-"

"Yo, weird dude!" Thom interrupted. "Do you wanna cowboy boogie with the Stew and I?"

"Oh heck yeah man!" Michael ran to dance with the skinny twink boys. Uhhh I only know how to do one dance though.

"It's all good dude! Just try your best!"

Michael started kicking his legs up and doing twirls. Thom and Stewkey started doing the same.

Michael finally felt a bit at home.


End file.
